I usually do not remember my dreams. But this one was so vivid in my mind, that I cannot forget it. It was her who came up with the idea. At the beginning, I was not fully convinced. Still, I decided to give the suicide assistance a try. "We will spend the last hours of our lives together. It will be beautiful", she said. We were healthy and we had a good life. "But it will be something new, and we will be bound forever".
The entrance. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
The place was a garden with nice corners to sit down and reflect on one's life for the last hours before it ended. We arrived there and they explained their offer to us. On arrival, they would inject us the remedy. It would take 24 hours to take effect. During that time, we would feel nothing, and we would be able to enjoy our time in the gardens. Once the 24 hours elapsed, the injection would make effect without pain. If we changed our mind before the deadline, they would give us an antidote.
Time seemed to stop in the garden. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
It felt as if we were booking our next trip in a travel agency. She looked at me and her eyes were saying "this is going to be great!". We signed the papers in a little temple with a marble table. It was surprisingly little paper work. We were all smiling. Light flooded the temple. It was a celebration.
All done with a simple signature. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
We went to a bench under a beautiful tree. I don't recall how many hours we spent there, but the light in the park felt like an eternal sunset. It was not too warm, but also not cold. It was just perfect. She lied on the bench, with her head on my lap, looking up into my eyes while I played with her hair. We had nothing to worry about, since in a few hours, there would be nothing left but just an eternal void.
Our last bench. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
I do not recall what we talked about. Maybe we were in silence. But after about 12 hours, she got up and said that she had changed her mind. I accepted that. They gave her the antidote and she came back to me. I was unsure what to do. I had already made up my mind to die in a few hours. Should I change now, too? She said that I should do what felt right for me. I doubted for a while, but then I decided to go ahead with the original plan.
The nursing room was right next to the bench. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
A few more hours elapsed. Growing doubts invaded my mind. Is this really what I want? I could not decide. Somehow, both dying and living seemed equally good. The feeling was similar to the stress of having to choose among two dishes on a restaurant's menu, not being able to identify which one would be better. And like in a restaurant, I left the decision to the last minute. Two hours before the deadline, I requested the antidote, too.
A hard choice. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
While they were willing to give me the antidote, they said that I should reconsider my choice. It was very late. It would work, but it would be very painful. The remedy had already spread within my body, and stopping it now would be a very unpleasent experience. This was a relief, because it made my choice easier. I followed their advice, and accepted my scheduled death.
I would spend painful hours on this bed. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
In the last hour, a guide took me through a series of locations in the garden. She came with me, supporting me in my last moments. At each location, they showed me a particularly relevant aspect of my life. My hobbies. My childhood memories. My loved ones. The guide smiled all the time.
Each temple housed one memory. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
I felt that he was smiling too much. I looked at him and asked "This is not real, right? I am not going to die". He looked back at me. His smile grew larger than ever. "That is right, but don't tell anyone. This place is to make our patients realise and value what they have in their life. The things that make it worth living."
The Eternal Garden from above. AI-generated with DALL·E 2.
I felt an enormous relief, and woke up.